My head hurts

I am so stress-able. This is so bad for Baby Lua. I wish I weren't so obsessive about work, but I am. How can I get better at this? I sit here and stress about all of the things I need to get done and all the messages I need to send. This kind of thinking paralyzes me. I just obsess about all the things I should be doing instead of actually doing them. And then I get so angry with myself because I know I should be doing more than thinking. I make myself sick sometimes.

I am like 75% type-A. I do all the stressing and need for control, but I feel like I am missing something, namely the ambitiousness/competitiveness that gets things done. Instead of working like a madman, I just freeze up. I hate this about myself more than anything.

I worry that this will make me a very bad parent. What if I can't work up the mental energy to do all the things a mom is supposed to do to raise a healthy, happy child? You can't just put off changing a diaper, or taking the baby out to play. You can't put off doctor's appointments or extend naps. You have to be present for your child. But what if all I do is stress...about the baby, about work (or going back to work) or one of the number of things I tend to worry about? Or what if stress out so much that I can't even get pregnant?! You'd think that would make me stress less, but instead, it makes me stress out even more.

Okay, I just need to relax..