My stomach

I woke up nauseated this morning. I know it's only 3DPO, so I'm not blaming it on conception or anything. I also had a monster temp spike too, so I am thinking I ate something not good. The problem is I am nauseated now as well. I didn't eat anything new or special.

So, I writing all this to say that I am still feeling really hopeful about this cycle. I secretly want to hope that my nausea is being caused by pregnancy, but I just want to be cool, calm and collected. So, I am just taking it one day at a time. I'll report my symptoms as I have them, but I won't get crazed until I know something real...

I'm thankful for: Law & Order SVU. I love that show. It's like candy for the brain...

It's later

And I promised another update. I had my weekly acupuncture appointment today and felt so relaxed and refreshed afterward. I don't have much physically to discuss. I feel fine. No issues to report or crazy Day 2 symptoms that would probably be nothing by imagination or just plain old progesterone. I'm really hoping that this cycle is "the one", but I won't know that until early April. It would be wonderful if I had some good news, especially since this is the last chance I have to have a child in 2010. Which is the one thing I wanted when we started TTC.

I'm thankful for: A good night's sleep. There is nothing like getting 8 hours of good rest to start the day.

Quick update

So, we missed one day out of the six we were aiming to BD. And the one day we missed was O day. But we hit every other day, so I think our chances are still really high. We did the best we could this cycle, so now it's a waiting game.

I'll post again later, but I wanted to post that quick update...

Keeping up with the plan

So we're on day 4 of six days of back to back sex. It's been fun, but I'm worried about whether we made the right decision. What if we've affected his sperm count by having sex so many days in a row? But I can't worry about that now. We're going to follow this plan through tomorrow sometime. That way, I'll be sure to have a "high" rating on intercourse timing on Fertility Friend.

We're out of town next week, but I packed some pregnancy tests just in case I get testing fever. My test day will probably be April 4th, so I am going to try not to test until April 1st or later. I don't want to ruin my trip with super early BFNs that don't mean anything. I'll be taking my temps while out of town, but I'm not sure it will reliable as the time zone difference is like 12+ hours.

I'm thankful for: Vacations! I love them and really need one soon...

Peak Reading

I got my peak reading today. So, I think we have 3 more days of sex before we can take a break. If we keep it up, we'll have DTD for six days in a row. I have to believe that's a record for us. We usually take a night or two (or more) off at a time. That said, it's been fun this week. It hasn't felt like pressure or like we're doing something we "have" to do. Instead, I think we've both been excited about it.

Since the HSG, I've had a weird crampy feeling in my tubes. They don't hurt, but they just feel a little sore. Other than that, nothing is going on with my body. I'm taking the guaifenesin regularly and try to remember to drink water. But overall, I'm just waiting for ovulation.

This next week is going to be hard. I'm busy at work and am heading out for a long vacation, so I have a lot to do. And I'll be anxiously awaiting the RE appointment on Friday. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

I'm thankful for: Sleep. I love it when I have a restful good night's sleep.

1 week until the RE

So, our first Reproductive Endocrinologist appointment is Friday, March 26th. I am both excited and anxious at the same time. I'm excited because now that the testing is all done, we can get a good understanding of what our next steps might be. I'm anxious because I just don't know what happens from here. Will he say we should just keep trying? Will he recommend a few Clomid cycles before IUI? Will he recommend IVF with ICSI right away?

The other possibility is that we conceive this cycle and the RE trip turns out to be unnecessary. That would be the best news. We'd be able to talk to an RE about our fertility, and we'd still be pregnant on our own. This month we're both committed to having sex each day that I am fertile. So right now, this is Day 2 of fertility. We started the BD marathon the day before I was fertile, so right now, I'm thinking we have at least 4 more days of sex ahead of us. The good news is it doesn't really feel like pressure right now. Instead, it just feels like we are excited that we might be able to do this ourselves and want to feel like we've done everything we could to avoid going down the artificial path.

My doctor called today to tell me my HSG results were normal, so no issues there. I think I said this before, but the HSG wasn't fun. I took 800 mg of ibuprofen before the procedure. I had to strip from the waist down and sit on the edge of a table. It was like getting a pap smear. There were 4 people in the room, not including DH who there with me. They made him stand in a control room where he could see me, but also the monitor to watch them inject the dye. It was a little uncomfortable when the doctor inserted the catheter, but when he inflated the balloon that holds the catheter in place, it felt like a very uncomfortable extended cramp. Then I had to slide back on the table so I was laying flat on my back. They slid the x-ray machine over my abdomen and injected the dye, which I didn't feel (maybe because I was already feeling the catheter balloon). I could see the dye as it was injected and could see that the dye spilled out at the ends the way it was supposed to. (I looked at a lot of pictures of HSGs online, so I had a decent idea of what I should see.)

 

I guess that's it for an update from me. I am taking Mucinex extended release (600mg) instead of the Robitussin this cycle, and it seems to be working. I have had some spotting from the HSG, but nothing that I need to worry about. So we are going to keep trying for now...

I'm thankful for: The RE appointment! It's only a week away.

I know, I know

I haven't been a good blogger lately. I've been self-absorbed. I haven't even joined the conversations on Baby Center. I have just been having trouble with the whole TTC thing. DH got his results - the count was great, his motility and morphology were low. My OB/GYN said we should definitely go see an RE. The good news is we have an appointment for Friday, March 26 as there were some cancellations due to the holiday. 

So, the HSG wasn't awesome. I wasn't ultra painful, but it certainly was uncomfortable. I promise to give more details by the end of the week, but I have to get some work done this evening. 

I'm thankful for: Having an RE appointment. We need one.

Nothing new

I have nothing to say today. I am tired of the whole TTC thing. It's hard because DH and I really want to start our family. I had to deplete our baby savings account today because someone close to me needed the money to prevent eviction. I was happy to be able to help out, but it hurt me to drain it. There was something sad about taking that money since we don't currently have a child to be building a fund for. I'm sorry I don't have more in me today. Knowing I'm on cycle 7 is weighing on me today...

DH went for his semen analysis today. I'm hoping to get the results in the next 24-48 hours. I don't think my doctor will call me with them, and I'm not even sure that he'll call me back when I call as he may wait until I finish with my HSG to give me those results too. But I hope to hear back soon on the semen. I want to be one step closer to knowing where we stand in the fertility process.

I'm thankful for: Today. Just today.

And it's back to square one

So, my temp dropped to 97.74 degrees, and I started spotting this evening. This means I'm not pregnant. Again. This is the 6th again.

I cried in front of my husband about this last night. He was so sweet about it, but I hated breaking down. I don't want this to be so heart-wrenching. I want to just accept that TTC takes time and not be upset. But I just can't. I want to make DH a father so badly. I want to be a mother. And he and I love each other. I believe we would be great parents. But still, nothing.

I know it's only been 6 months.

I know we are being proactive by getting testing done, and that most issues, if we even have issues, are able to be fixed.

I know that not having a child is not the end of the world.

I know that everything happens the way it's supposed to happen.

But I just wish I could accept it all instead of being increasingly disappointed each time I get my period.

I hope one of two things happens:

1. DH's sperm analysis comes back great, I get the HSG, it clears my tubes, and we get pregnant in Cycle 7 before I have to start Clomid.
2. DH's sperm analysis comes back great, I get the HSG, it shows I'm fine, we go on Clomid, and I get pregnant with a singleton or twins in Cycle 8

That's what I am going to focus on. Either way, I want DH's analysis to come back great. If there is anything awry, I don't want it to be because of him. I know how difficult that would be for him. I don't want him to feel badly.

I'm thankful for: Believing tomorrow can bring something better. If I didn't, today would not be a good day.

Really hopeful

My early pregnancy signs monitor is at 71 points. My temps jumped up at 13DPO, although I didn't take my temp at the right time. But I got a BFN today. So I don't know what to think. I'm just going to try to be patient...

God, please let me be pregnant. Please. Amen.

I'm thankful for: Movies. They keep my mind off of this stuff a little.

Wondering

Hmm...my FF monitor rated me 53 points today. It's the highest yet. I am not overly excited, but it's nice to know. My cycle this month has been weird. More creamy CM, odd temperatures, just not my regular cycle - if there is such a thing. I don't want to get too riled up - it's not good for me. But I am cautiously hopeful about taking my temp in the AM. If it goes up again, I might test in the morning. I say might because I really would prefer to wait until test date. I don't want to waste yet another test on a wing and a prayer.

I'm thankful for: The Fertility Friend Early Pregnancy Signs Monitor. I doesn't make me feel much better or much worse about my pregnancy chances. But it is nice to have it as another thing to reference. It helps keep my need for information satisfied.

Frustrated

I went for a fertility consultation. My husband has to go for a semen analysis, I got my progesterone levels checked and just scheduled a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). I am not quite devastated, but I'm getting there.

My blood work was good. My level was 19.9, and I've read that that is a good number. I'll get to talk to the doctor by tomorrow evening, so I'll let you know what he says then. He also did a quant test for HSG - it was negative as was my FRER HPT this AM, which means I am probably not pregnant. I have a slight chance, since I'm only at 10DPO, but it's not very likely at all.

My doctor says if the HSG is good and the semen analysis is good, I'll have to start on Clomid (which I'm guessing would start cycle 8). If the HSG is good and the semen analysis is not so good, it may be IUI possibly with Clomid. I don't know what happens if the HSG isn't good.

I didn't think I need to talk about HSG, Clomid, IUI or semen analysis when I started this blog.

I'm thankful for: My husband. He's being really supportive. He came with me to my appointment, and I think having the doctor say I really should be pregnant by now made it click for him.