And it's back to square one

So, my temp dropped to 97.74 degrees, and I started spotting this evening. This means I'm not pregnant. Again. This is the 6th again.

I cried in front of my husband about this last night. He was so sweet about it, but I hated breaking down. I don't want this to be so heart-wrenching. I want to just accept that TTC takes time and not be upset. But I just can't. I want to make DH a father so badly. I want to be a mother. And he and I love each other. I believe we would be great parents. But still, nothing.

I know it's only been 6 months.

I know we are being proactive by getting testing done, and that most issues, if we even have issues, are able to be fixed.

I know that not having a child is not the end of the world.

I know that everything happens the way it's supposed to happen.

But I just wish I could accept it all instead of being increasingly disappointed each time I get my period.

I hope one of two things happens:

1. DH's sperm analysis comes back great, I get the HSG, it clears my tubes, and we get pregnant in Cycle 7 before I have to start Clomid.
2. DH's sperm analysis comes back great, I get the HSG, it shows I'm fine, we go on Clomid, and I get pregnant with a singleton or twins in Cycle 8

That's what I am going to focus on. Either way, I want DH's analysis to come back great. If there is anything awry, I don't want it to be because of him. I know how difficult that would be for him. I don't want him to feel badly.

I'm thankful for: Believing tomorrow can bring something better. If I didn't, today would not be a good day.