Lost some steam

Happy Valentine's Day. I wanted to be celebrating being pregnant. Instead, I'm not. Well, I'm celebrating having a wonderful husband. Although it doesn't feel that way right now. Right now, it just sucks. When we decided that we wanted to have a child, I did all the right things. I started taking prenatal pills 3 months in advance. I started temping and checking my CM. I stopped drinking and eating medium rare meat. We timed our intercourse to ensure we were giving ourselves the best chances for conception. I spent a few hundred on my fertility monitor and test strips and Pre Seed and pregnancy tests. I tracked every little symptom on Fertility Friend. And what do I have to show for it all. NOTHING. AT. ALL.

So, we are into cycle #6. My period is over. I start testing on my CBEFM tomorrow morning for 10 days. I am going out of town Sunday night. I am praying that ovulate early this cycle as I have to travel to NY for work. If I ovulate on the later end of my usual time frame, I'll be in NY during ovulation and the time before it, which means another cycle will have been missed. But I won't think like that. I am going to believe that I'll ovulate early. I am going to believe that we'll BD plenty of times before I leave, giving me the best chance for conception. I am going to believe that this 6th cycle is going to be the one. I have to.

I'm thankful for: Patience. I know I go through moments when I'm upset or disappointed, but I get through it. Having patience is so helpful during those times. When I am just so angry that I haven't gotten pregnant, I remember that it takes time and that I have to be patient. And I am being patient now. I have to be. If I can't find the strength to be patient, then I will mentally check out of this process. That's not where I want to be.