Making a decision

I am making a decision. This is really important because it’s a decision to be happy, to be unstressed, to be fulfilled. I had to actually go back and re-type what I just wrote. Initially it said “be happier and less stressed”. That’s not what I want. I want to be happy. Definitively. I want to be unstressed. Definitively. I want to be fulfilled. Period.  End of sentence. I know this sounds crazy, but I am deciding, not to believe this to be true, but to know it to be true. I have spent a good portion of my life thinking about how not happy I was. How stressed out I was. I look at previous posts and so many of them are focused on being stressed out, or not thrilled about my life’s circumstances. Then I see a lot of posts hoping good things to be true rather than just believing they are gong to come to me. I am going to change that. Better yet, I am changing that.

So where is this coming from? I just read The Secret. Now, I am not saying this book changed my life. I am saying that I am changing my life. The Secret told me what I already knew to be true. You can create your own circumstances by the power of thinking. And I’m planning on doing just that. I mean, I am doing just that.  I’ve had this work for me in the past. I can think of times in my life where I thought and believed something so much that it manifested itself. I decided that I was going to find a new job that allowed me the ability to work from home. I now work from home. I decided that I wanted to find a husband that would be truly compatible with my sometimes crazy needs. I found my DH and couldn’t be happier.

How does this apply to Baby Lua. I have decided I am pregnant. I just am. I know I took a test that said I wasn’t, but I have decided that it was too early to show results. That doesn’t change the fact that I am pregnant. I am living with this knowledge and acting accordingly. I am not drinking. I am not taking in caffeine. I am watching what I am eating. Because I am going to be healthy for Baby Lua. I am not specifying whether I have a boy or girl, because I will be happy with either. I am, however, certain that Baby Lua will be born healthy and will be happy. I know this to be true.

This may sound crazy. I understand that. But when I take my next pregnancy test this week to show my husband the good news, it will sound a lot less crazy. As a show of my faith that I am pregnant, I am not going to take a test on my testing day, Wednesday, because I won’t be at home to share the test stick with DH. Instead, I’ll just wait to take the test Friday AM when I get home so I can show him the stick. I don’t need the test results just for my own information. I just need them so when the doctor asks whether I’ve taken the test, I can say “yes’

I just created a meeting planner in my calendar for Baby Lua’s arrival date (based on my Fertility Friend ovulation date). It’s August 24, 2010. I am sooooo excited. My stomach is getting butterflies just thinking about it. This is how I am going to create my future for myself, I am going to attract the things I want for myself by believing in them. By knowing them.

So Baby Lua, I can’t wait to meet you, but I am sooooooo glad you’re here. I love you already!